About

I have been trying to change this page so many times. And I can’t. I think I’d rather stop writing it altogether than change the name of the blog, or the explanation behind its existence.This is Ardbeg’s story first. He was one of many miracle dogs, the ones who survive despite everything, the ones who had been given a mission to save someone’s life, the ones who just need to find the lost human and let them believe it’s the other way round.

Here you go then, my first, hardly changed version:

The ratio of animals to humans in our house is 2:8. We have two dogs, two cats, two snakes and two zebra finches. Most are rescues – as were the pets we had before.

The reason why ‘Lily and Ardbeg’ exists is simple. A few months ago I found out my dog Ardbeg had liver cancer. And I had to occupy my brain with something to stop the frenzy of auto-destructive thoughts.But I knew he’d be in the centre of anything I do.

220815_1984973149881_1697245_o
the first day with me

Ardbeg was quite special to me. It was love from the first sight. He’d had the worst imaginable experience with people, so I will never forget how he just followed me home, uneasy but determined to trust me. He was always just mine, for a long time I was the only one who could pick him up, hug him, kiss him. It was difficult at times and maybe because of that I find life without him hard to imagine.He had been beaten, kicked, abused, people had tried to kill him and yet he survived. Then nobody thought he was good enough for adoption, he was described as ‘plain’ and ‘hard work’. What they didn’t know was that behind all that there was the biggest heart imaginable.The time in the shelter didn’t help with his fear and insecurities.But I fell in love and I think he knew it. He was my life, my joy, my treasure. I swell with pride when people say how sweet and lovely he was.

Lily had little chance to be adopted. She was kept in one room for the first three years of her life. When we got her she didn’t know the world outside, everything made her tremble, she was discovering everything like a puppy.She is another dog given no opportunity to have a good start.

She’s curious, brave, adventurous and it’s impossible not to love her.A vicious hunter (well, sort of) and a fluffy toy in one. One her cuddle and all the sadness of the universe is reduced to a tiny speckle of dust.She makes me happy, she keeps me sane, she gives me hope it’ll be ok.

And I’m Alex, I’m hard work, too. So we seem to get on well.

 Ardbeg died on the 16th of April 2016. The blog wasn’t going to last, but it does as I’ve found the most wonderful people and blogs here. It still hurts to see his photos here, but I promise, I’ll change this page when I find enough strength to deal with him not being a part of my life. 

213 thoughts on “About

  1. This is the BEST “About” that I’ve read. I’m so sorry for your loss. I too have lost a few special pets, but none of them went through what your special guy lived through. Don’t ever change the page if you don’t want to. He means a lot to you and it’s your page so you can continue it to Honour him.
    I don’t believe that I’ve ever posted a comment on someone’s “About” page and this blog really deserves a comment here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I have tried to change it a few times, but it’s all because of Ardbeg, so even though the blog is no longer about him, I can’t pretend it’s his blog (I never expected anyone would read it, so I thought I’d just stop writing and nobody would ever notice, but there are some wonderful people here-they write and they read my posts, so I carry on). Lots of love for you and your special pets 🙂 x

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  2. Thank you for liking my blog post today. That’s why I took a look at your “about” page. I feel your sadness – you express yourself so well. As animal people, we all experience the joys and the sads. I’m with you in both. Hope you will continue to speak out. It is healing for yourself and for all of us who have lost our loves.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel your pain and have been there with my own loss after sixteen years of unconditional love. Hang in there. It won’t go away, but it will get easier. I don’t think we’d want it to go away completely because then we’d forget our wonderful and faithful friends.

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss of Ardbeg. I lost my closest companion not soon after you, on May 1, 2016. It is the worst thing in the world. Grief is a long long long process. But I have found that writing helps. I actually started my blog shortly after Klutzie died. It’s a way of processing. Someone asked me why you would get another dog if this is the worst thing in the world. The only reply I had was that it was worth going through the horror because living with a dog is the best thing in the world. Not everyone gets that, but the ones that do, really do.

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  5. Oh my. I named *my* blog after my (rescued) birds….and they are not with us any more so I can really understand. I think it’s great, anyway, that you leave Ardberg’s name in the title….Love IS what it’s all about and a simple “change of clothes” doesn’t change that.

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  6. Oh, you just made me cry here reading about your Ardbeg… My own dog Sam, which I had rescued from the shelter back in 2002, also trusted me from day 1. As a matter of fact, I used to say that he wasn’t really guarding the house, he was actually guarding me! He had most likely been beaten as he was most distrustful of strangers at first, especially if the wore a hat or had a cane… Very telling! He died last July, at the grand old age of 15 and a half.

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  7. We only rescue the most “unadoptable” pets because we know with lots of time, energy and love they turn out to be more than just “adoptable”, but part of our family. Sorry for your loss; the pictures are absolutely adorable! Thanks for rescuing and sharing!

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    1. Thank you. I think I like the ‘difficult’ animals-and people. Maybe the fact they find it difficult to adapt (apart from indicating their traumatic past) is a sign they think, that they question the reality and make their own decisions? I know that once they do trust me, they’d die for me-and this is love in the purest form. Worth my time and energy 🙂

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  8. I was very heartened to read about your timid dogs and how you encouraged them. I wanted to take a basset from the Dogs Home and keep him with his friend, a greyhound but they wouldn’t let me. Said they had to meet all my family ( my boys all left home!) and they were too scared to come with me as I went to work.. even though my Dad walks our other dog in t e day and no one is out for long. Wouldn’t even let me try. Pox on Dogs Trust! ( I thought about staging a protest)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a shame. Maybe it was more about the dog, not you (some dogs are ‘difficult’). Well, maybe some other rescue will steal your heart-unfortunately, there are lots of dogs in need of a loving home…

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you-I do miss him every day. It’s nearly a year now and I still find it hard to look at the photos. He really was very important for me. x

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    1. Thank you, every loss hurts but the love and happiness they bring is beyond any human perception. It really is unconditional and true.

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