Lily was almost attacked by a seagull on our morning walk. Fortunately she hid behind me as I furiously waved my hands and distributed violent if pointless kicks into the air. I must have looked as if I had an epileptic fit, but as the only creature who could actually see us was the bloodthirsty, feathers covered messerschmitt, I really did not care.
I don’t think I have ever killed anything (well, apart from the accident with the washed snail – but the more I think about it, the more I believe he must have been suicidal). I have been vegetarian (vegan mostly) for pretty much all my life, I have never considered killing to be a solution to any problem. But. I think killing is harwired in my brain. And it’s a shame seagulls can’t read as it’s an official warning. I can and will kill if anyone tries to hurt my little princess.
(If charged, it should be: homicide-voluntary manslaughter/seagulslaughter. Can prove on balance of probabilities a defence of diminished responsibility as clearly provoked to lose my self-control)
Right: I’m going to add an article as I think the consequences of seagull attack are greatly underestimated: how to survive seagull attack