Do nothing wisely

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Refraining from reaction is as important as acting when it’s needed. It takes much more skill and self-control, though. Many trainers described it as the zen of dogs and it does make you feel like you’re more like a constant flow of water shaping the stone, not a hammer just breaking it.

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Nobody can make my dog whatever I want him to be but me. I need to be an expert in his character and talents. I need to watch and listen because he watches and listens.

When I see a dog returned to the shelter I know it’s our fault, it’s a mismatch and even though both the dog and the adopter were perfect, they weren’t perfect for each other. My dogs wouldn’t (or didn’t) work for most people but they fit so neatly in my weird world that when I have to say good-bye to one of them I never forget him and he takes a part of me, never to be replaced, never to be returned.

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10 thoughts on “Do nothing wisely

  1. Love this post.
    Reaction invariably leads to punishment of some sort . Punishment for so long has been mankind’s favourite method of learning! What a load of ****. . What you do is spot on. Keep up the great work and posts. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿถ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚
      Punishment is the most counter-effective tool in training/learning. I worked with ‘difficult’ people for years and, like ‘difficult’ dogs they are often victims of some idiot having tried to apply punishment as a method of learning… It only shows the frustration and the desire to take revenge -not the need to help ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We start our training this evening with a very repeatable trainer. I’m excited to see what we can accomplish together. Lucy defiantly has a mind of her own but also likes to please. I would love to get to the Zen of of the dog letting the gentle waters shape the stone but I believe the stone becomes one in the same for both of us as we learn together.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good luck with your training ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m sure Lucy will do well-dogs learn fast-it’s only finding the way to get to them that might take some time ๐Ÿ™‚
      As to the stone metaphor: I also see it like that-the particles of it stay in the water and unite the two ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have seen people cry who returned dogs to the shelter, sometimes they are just not right for eachother however much love flows between them. It takes a big heart and a lot of unconditional love to want what is best for the dog and surrender them for the highest good. In each of the cases I witnessed, these dogs were adopted again and thrived.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All our dogs get adopted, too, but I’m too judgmental to deal with people – I try very hard not to be, but I know my limits. Or maybe it’s because the dogs that come back have not been loved (mind you: it’s my own, very limited experience) and for me it’s wrong to adopt a dog you’re not in love with. I’m definitely not a good material to be a shelter worker (I have no intentions to be one either, I really get on better with rescues than people). However, I do believe it is only right to bring the dog back when things are definitely not going to work. I help two charities now and it’s the newer, bigger one that has had (very few) failed adoptions. I’m a control freak, so I trust pre-adoption checks and so on. In big organisations they tend to be less thorough and the mismatches can slip through the net.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Another heartening post, thank you. I know I don’t have the constant and vigilant training discipline you have, but I am, at least, consistent and patient. I can’t imagine trying to shape behavior through punishment.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Being consistent and patient is the best you can be ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m generally not patient at all and I really think it’s my ‘difficult’ dogs that saved me from being a neurotic, frustrated monster ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

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