Just right

030

I’m happy to report that Brian has been given an ‘all clear’ from the vet. He needs to be watched, of course, but he’s alive and well. We have resumed our training – it’s really hard and it helps that I know lots of dog owners with ‘naughty’ dogs. Some of them are qualified trainers. So, even though I do despair at times, I am generally able to reason with myself and stay calm at all times around Brian.

027

I talk to ‘problematic dogs’ owners on a daily basis. Most really difficult dogs end up in shelters -and I rarely judge the owners. We all struggle sometimes. And it gets even more difficult when we feel we need to pretend that all is well, that we’re coping, that we don’t doubt ourselves and don’t feel like a failure. The point is: feeling negative about yourself is counter-effective.

028

I have never had a ‘normal’ dog. All ended up being relatively well, but it had always been a long and difficult process to get them to the point where we would both feel comfortable.

Also: I’m never really ‘ready’ for another challenge. I learn all the time, mostly about myself. This is my life, my choice and my idea of fulfillment.

The message of the post is really: ‘the owners of difficult dogs -unite’ πŸ™‚ It helps to know you’re not alone. And thatΒ  it will all be fine.

Advertisements

30 thoughts on “Just right

    1. well, that was scary…he’s only a puppy, too πŸ™‚ anyway, he WILL go to Scotland after all (we go on holiday there most years-we didn’t go last year though, so it’ll be the first time for Brian) x

      Like

  1. Love the second photo of Brian in your post. He looks like he’s smiling. People who stand by the side of their difficult dog are few and far between. I have two (difficult dogs), one who even at 6 y/o wants to dig out of the yard and go exploring and another who chews up pecans all over the rug, tears up paper, and scratches the wooden furniture, but they are both worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love all my ‘dogs from hell’-and every time one of them passes away I miss all the naughty things they did…Brian digs in the garden, too πŸ™‚ I love the fact you love your dogs so much πŸ™‚ x

      Like

  2. The most difficult dogs teach us the most – about ourselves, about dogs, about dog behavior. I had a randomly aggressive GSD (rescued) who was the hardest dog to have. I actually had a force trainer tell me that his behavior was because of “something” I was doing! Talk about feeling responsible for something I had no control over. We found much more compassionate trainers and muddled our way through. He’s over the rainbow bridge now, but I am forever grateful for his time with me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really think the profession (dog trainers) should be strictly regulated. There are so many stories like yours-and so many people, who mean well, damage their dog forever because they follow advice of someone who should never call themselves a trainer. I agree that the ‘difficult’ dogs are the best πŸ™‚ They change my life-in so many different ways πŸ™‚

      Like

  3. What splendid news! and I’ve noticed with the Dog, who’s about a year and a half old now, that it’s kind of 3/5 amount of the time he’s “good” and busy working on his mission of kissing EVERYTHING, and the other 2/5? he acts like we’re something he might have, maybe, at one time, known what it is but most definitely not right now I have to chase that cat. I’m sure you can do no wrong here, anyway. Love always comes through, the universal solvent/mathematics/language, and from my own experience, learning how to function in society can take a while. Dogs may even have a bit of an advantage…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha, what a brilliant description (of ‘the Dog’) πŸ™‚ Brian finds everything that’s new an extreme challenge-and there are still loads of things that are new….well, he’s still my perfect little boy πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    1. He is getting better – but ‘better’ doesn’t mean ‘good’ πŸ˜‰ Well, he’s perfect for me anyway. I do like a challenge and I appreciate every small change for the better πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Owners of difficult dogs unite! I love it. My little guy is absolutely terrible with other dogs and I’ve worked with him myself and also with 3 different trainers over the years. He’s 12 now so I just keep him away now. But some people are sooooo judgemental about it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It does help when you have people to talk to-it takes away most of the pressure (especially if you think your dog should be perfect) πŸ™‚ I know what you mean about people being judgmental…Also, I have worked with fearful-aggressive dogs for almost 20 years now -and I’m very humble about what I expect, what ‘should’ a dog be like and my own abilities. All dogs can get better-but not all of them would ever be ‘perfect’ for most people πŸ™‚ Dogs-like humans-are individual entities, each is different and it’s good to respect that πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I am very happy to hear that Brian is well! I was concerned about him, and very concerned about you. I am confident that you have the skills and resilience to cope with behaviours, as long as everybody is in good health.
    And by the way, how is Lily?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My Mum was in hospital as well, so I have travelled a fair bit-all anxious and desperate for things to start going well. Hopefully now we’ll all be fine πŸ™‚ Little Lily is my anchor-she makes me smile even when it’s hard. And she’s doing very well-even if she’s a bit less well-behaved than I’d wish her to πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I hope your Mum is feeling better now, and I hope everybody is well from now on! You don’t seriously expect Lily to behave as if nothing is happening when she sees Brian ill and you in distress, can you? Things will go back to normal eventually, or as normal as they could be.

        Like

  6. I am glad to hear about Brian. I agree about the “difficult” dogs. I have learned so much about patience and persistence. And I don’t dare admit just how lazy I would be without them.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I do hope your mother is feeling better and of course we’re delighted Brian is too πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
    Puppies bring their own joys and it’s a continual process…Erin chewed Mum’s electricity bill up the other day while Rocky just sat and watched, apparently!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He’s well worth it, he makes progress and he’s the loveliest, most affectionate dog I could wish for. We all have issues, it’s only right to address them rather than dismiss someone because he’s not ‘perfect’ πŸ˜‰

      Like

  8. Love the post and all the comments. After some trying times, but with progress, I labeled Boo [R.I.P.] a ‘hard tryer’, because you could almost tell by the look in his eyes that he really was ‘trying hard’ to be good. With rescued pups, it’s the whole issue of, ‘who knows what their previous years taught them about life?’. Keep up the good work, all you dog lovers!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think most of the ‘naughty ones’ are trying really hard. As with many other relationships there’s an area of misunderstandings and assumptions. We assume the dog knows what we want, what is acceptable, what is ‘normal’. And, who knows, the dog might assume we want him to jump, bark, nibble at our nose or ear-because he misread our signals (or, what is actually very common: because we actually send mixed signals)

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s