When I want to communicate something verbally, I say it and check if the listener has understood. I do it with the dogs, too. I try not to talk at them, but talk to them. They know their names, there’s no need to repeat them many times to get their attention.
Repeating something countless times makes it meaningless (Lilylilylilylilylilylilylily or Brianbrianbrianbrian = Blahblahblahblah). Shouting doesn’t work (‘COME HERE!!!!!! – ‘Well, I’d better wait till she calms down’). Wait for an answer, be patient and reward your dog for listening to you. The time between the command and the response will get shorter with practice.
Pay attention to your dog and he’ll do the same. Don’t contradict yourself. If you want to have a calm dog be calm yourself, especially in the most stressful situations. After all, that’s what you’d like to teach your dog.
Don’t punish, communicate. I use ‘stop’ as I don’t like the word ‘no’. I say it once, calmly (I use gestures as well, ‘stop’ is palm of my non-dominant hand facing the dog for a second), and take the guilty party away from the danger. I ignore the misbehaving one, ‘no interaction’ is the only punishment I use.
I do get frustrated. But I know what I want: a happy, socialised dog who is emotionally bonded with me and is allowed to have his own personality. I want our relationship to be built on mutual respect so there’s no place for dominance, submission, fear or anger in it.