IMG_3257My favourite fruit. Since Ardbeg’s death they have never tasted the same, though. We used to eat them together, I had to peel one for him and he was happily munching on the crunchy flesh. So loud that my husband would come from another room just to see it. Every time I picked an apple Ardbeg was there, ready for his snack. I miss this extra sense of his, I miss sharing my apples, I miss feeling whole with his constant presence around me.

Ardbeg eating his apple.
Reminds you of someone ?
Funny how an apple can make me happy 🙂
they are healthy, too!

I needed this introduction, even if it’s still weirdly hard to even mention his name. But the significance of the fact that Brian likes apples can only be understood with the preface.


No fruit bowl is safe again. Oh, the joy of watching Brian stealing an apple and attacking it fiercely with his young teeth. The overpowering sensation of warmth, safety, pure happiness. I can laugh till my belly hurts again, all the shattered pieces fell into place, I have found me again.


And my signature saying can be used again, slightly modified but true nonetheless: There’s an Alex for every Brian (and a Brian for every Alex)



19 thoughts on “Apples

  1. Ray and I sit on our back steps regularly and share an apple and, as you know, is a wonderful experience. I never however give him an apple to chew on due to following comment from a dog food site:

    Apple seeds, however, contain cyanide so your dog should not be allowed to eat the core. Though the effects of a few apple seeds will likely not harm your dog, the deleterious effects can accumulate over time if allowed to eat apple seeds regularly.

    For anybody who gives apples to their dog… beware!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good point, thank you. I know about the seeds, neither Ardbeg nor Brian would chew on an apple long enough to get to the core anyway, but I do normally give them chunks of flesh not an apple 🙂 The photos show the first time Brian and Ardbeg helped themselves to one – I felt so happy when Brian took it from the fruit bowl and I remembered I had a photo of Ardbeg doing the same. Memory lane and all that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A lovely post Alex. When you are remembering something, like Ardbeg eating an apple and you feeling happy, Brian will be able to see the pictures you are creating and is likely to copy the behaviour. Love and wags to you all xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 🙂 I’m definitely not good at talking about emotions and I know someone reading it might just miss the point of the post 🙂 But there is a point, even if I am trying to make it in a very clumsy way…

      Liked by 2 people

  3. oh so precious!! I absolutely love these photos and how you wrote about finding yourself again! So awesome. I know you will never forget Ardbeg… I can never forget our 2 cats that we lost, the funny things they did and how they make you smile and laugh. They bring such joy!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I know what it’s like to lose a dog. we have lost 3 dogs throughout the years and there is at least one thing about each we remember. Our border collie Trixie would not play ball no matter how hard we tried. She’d just look at the ball as if to say you fetch it. It made us laugh so hard. Our black lab Rufus use to catch balloons by the nib and shake them like crazy without breaking them. My husband would throw it in the air and he’d jump for it. Unlike Trixie he had no trouble running for a ball but he never brought it back you had to chase him. And Maggie a mid-size wrinkle dog she would eat anything off a plate, hamburgers and ribs by the barbaque in the summer were her favorite, or turkey at Christmas we learned to keep food out of reach, lol. And she was an escape artist somehow getting out of our backyard, she was mischievous. We miss our dogs so much but of all things ended up with a cat when our sister-in-law moved and couldn’t take it with her. Roxy while obviously much different surprisingly is playful and affectionate.

    Liked by 1 person

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