Life. Suspended.


Some people say a dog is the only love you can buy. Except, we don’t pay them for love, we pay the breeder, the shelter’s fees – we pay other people. However, there’s a higher price to pay: our emotions. We’ve made dogs become our companions, adjust to our lifestyles, we’ve domesticated them like no other animal. And it has built a bond so strong it can only be compared to a bond between people we love.IMG_1522

Yet a dog’s lifespan is shorter than ours. And the inevitable decision so many dog owners are faced with has to be made when we are prepared least. I’ve done my courses, I’ve read the books, I’ve participated in seminars. I know what to do. When my dog’s suffering can’t be prevented, his pain can’t be eased I should say goodbye and let him go. Let him have the dignity he deserves, show the biggest love a human can feel by ending the pain he doesn’t understand. My human bias (he might still get slightly better), my selfishness (I’m not ready), my excuses (he trains other dogs) are just my desperate way to express the desire to make him stay. Because the only thing in my brain is a pledge: ‘don’t leave me, please, don’t leave me’

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My love, my joy, my life: I promise I’ll let you go when the time comes. When I took you home I promised you’d never feel pain again, you’d never be scared, you’d never suffer. I’ll keep my promise.


18 thoughts on “Life. Suspended.

  1. Our little Joie took the decision away from us a couple of years ago. He slid downhill so fast. We decided not to try and treat him but would keep him home for another day. That night we decided first thing in the morning we needed to take him back to the vet and give him his peace. At two in the morning, he found that peace for himself. It also gave our other dog the opportunity to see him pass. She wasn’t wandering around looking for him as they both had when my Dad died. This is a beautiful post you have written. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. it’s never easy and no matter what we do, we have some sense of guilt or unease…I’m sure Joie had a good life (you wouldn’t bother reading blogs about dogs if you didn’t like dogs) and that’s what matters. Ardbeg will be home, we have the most wonderful vet, who knows his past and his issues. More and more vets offer ‘compassionate euthanasia’ at home. Well, Ardbeg’s here today, no pain, no difficult decisions to make. Every day is precious, though. Only here and now matters.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. sorry, didn’t mean to make anyone sad (or cry), my blog is a way of dealing with leaving behind the part of my life Ardbeg’s been an integral part of …he’s had a good life, he’s been happy and he’s been a centre of the universe of one mad dog lady and her (more cat-focused, but dog-loving) husband 🙂 Ardbeg has been loved. And we’ve tried to be good, responsible owners. I’m just a wuss and can’t deal with being left here without him…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We have been in this situation with all the rescues we have adopted and it never gets any easier. We have always let them know that they are free to go when they are ready. In their own way, they have always let us know when that time has come. Thinking of you and sending you love.

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  3. Such a bittersweet post and it’s really a shame we can’t get more time with these lovely creatures. Some time ago, there was a viral post of a 6-year-old’s response about why dogs leave this earth sooner than humans do. He had said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life – like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right? Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

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  4. Sorry about Ardbeg. I think you’re right for not leting him suffer when it comes the time for leting him go. The most important thing is that you gave all your love and made him happy like he was never before, and that’s what counts. He is a happy dog becouse of you. Don’t think too much about it right now, just enjoy the sun, the birds, the smell of grass together.

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  5. Good Day to You,

    We recently lost our 18 year old Siberian husky mix.

    After a 30 year run, we find ourselves (temporally) without a pet, until we find a new apartment.

    Our neighbor just asked us to sit her 15 year old lab mix. He is a friend of our old girl.

    He spent the afternoon with us in our apartment while she worked this afternoon.

    It didn’t take long for him to get comfortable, not just because he already knows us, but he knows this is her home and picked up her sent.

    We have an understanding and are content together.

    My wife and I feel it’s meant to be, not finding the right place to move into, yet.

    Now we are looking forward to his next visit.

    Promises are hard to keep, but letting go is harder.

    “I don’t want to get another one” because it’s so hard to face the hard choice at the end. Who wants to be so bonded, only to have to end it this way?

    Yet, we can’t help but think:

    There’s yet another life to save and love to give.

    The bond will never die.

    The memories live on.

    Our pets give our lives enrichment, just as we give them a home.

    Who says that on some level they don’t understand?

    Love is eternal.

    My Best to You

    Liked by 1 person

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